Online dating profiles– the core of your dating success– give you a lot of freedom. You’re free to write what you want. You’re free to aim for a certain type of person, and shape your profile to appeal to them. And you’re free to make it into a terrifying Frankenstein’s monster.
What do I mean? Well, Dr. Frankenstein built his monster from random chunks of the dead. While it could lumber around and smash things, it wasn’t bound for the cover of GQ. Likewise, you can cobble a profile together from stray bits & pieces, such as…
- Endless lists of adjectives. These usually clog the beginning of your profile. You describe yourself: “I’m nice, fun, outgoing, ambitious, funny, and energetic.” And? I still don’t have a very good idea of who you are. Unfortunately, this list of words is, well, just words. It’s like a riddle: “I’m gray, large, leathery, slow, and easily frightened. What am I?” An elephant? Or my crazy great aunt? Instead, say what you do, not who you are.
- Leftover chunks of your ex. We’ve all read these profiles. You can tell the wounds are still fresh. The ex, and all their horrible doings, are seeping through the profile’s words. For example: “I am done with games.” But no one wants games, right? So why bring it up? I suspect such complaints have the unintended effect of driving away Mr. & Ms. Right. Because I read them, I don’t think, “Hey, I hate games too.” I think, “I’m sorry you had to go through with all that. Moving right along…”
- Your right kneecap, unless it is quite attractive. Huh? Who put their kneecap in a dating profile? No one, I hope. But people fill their profiles with other odd facts. Like photos of their pets alone, or schematics of their office jobs, or their 5-, 10- and 15-year life plans. These things do matter. So does your kneecap. But not yet! Wait until the fifth month. (Or the fifth year.) I think we get ahead of ourselves writing dating profiles, because we tend to be intimate on our computers. After all, we use them in our pajamas, with a cup of coffee. Which is quite different than meeting someone for a cup of coffee, when we can feel things out before launching into a description of our knees.
So watch out for these things. Then your dating profile can lean to GQ, not Fangoria. But finding and fixing mistakes only gets you halfway there. I describe a full system for writing online profiles for dating on my Web site. No matter what, I hope this helps you take steps to writing the very best dating profile.
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